The Point...

If I had to name what "the point" of life is for me right now it would be the following:
Hanging out with people I love
Being outside as much as possible
Doing things I enjoying
Relaxing and taking in the scenery
Seeing new places
Trying new things
Eating great food
Trying to make great things
Helping others

Right now I am just concerned with doing all of these things and making enough money to do these things!
I am sure I will change my mind in a few days, months, years... but for now I am good!

Over it

I think I am finally "over it."
"It" being a ton of crap that has been stressing me out and that I have been focusing energy on fixing!
Most of it has to do with my relationships. People aren't going to be the same type of friend that I am. Maybe that's good and maybe that's bad. I am not deciding anymore.
I can't be let down if I have no expectations... and I mean that in a good way!

For the rest of the summer all I want to do is:
Relax
Try to spend more time with my husband!
Go to the cabin as much as possible
Spend time in the sun
SWIM!
Walk my dog
Go out for dinner and drinks with fun friends

Oh today...

Hopeless. It is a point that I hate to get to but it happens. When you keep hoping and wishing for things to go your way and then you realize that the situation or the person is not going to change.

(I can’t be more specific because I have been told that some sort of Big Brother figure can somehow read all of my emails, websites, and facebook… awesome. This is literally the paranoia that had been created. I guess I need to get a paper journal and I can call it good!)

Today I feel hopeless and like I can’t create the change that I thought I could. I want to change certain things and relationships in my life. I can’t seem to find the right words or actions to do that. I need more patience to just keep dealing with the things I can’t change.

I felt like when I was in school anything was possible- change was constantly happening and I was helping to shape my future and the world. Today I feel like I am just being pulled downstream, like I can’t get out of this flow, and I have lost control.

I hate being such a downer but right now I am overwhelmed and frustrated. And I am honestly not even sure what to be hoping for or working towards at this point.

Things today...

Today is a very average day so far! But that's not necessarily bad.
The last few days I have been working on being relaxed and enjoying my time at home.
-I got a massage last week!
-I got a new pillow which is amazing... to think I wasn't sure spending $8 on it was going to be worth it :)
-I had two fun Mother's Day parties. And I think the moms even liked their gifts.
-I went to Charlie's softball game on Monday and it was down pouring so I just slept and read in the car. And then we went out to dinner!
-I watched hours and hours of Sex and the City over the weekend.

I am looking forward to the Secondhand Hounds Silent Auction this Saturday! And I am very happy that Jennie decided to be my date! I can't wait to see all of my donations in their baskets, I hope people like them!

Soon we will need to decide if we want to take one another foster dog. That would be our 5th. I just look at my dirty, dirty carpet and it makes it harder to decide :)

If I am going to take the time to complain about all of the bad things I also need to make time to remember the good things!

Complaining today...

Is it possible that my case of the Mondays has become a case of the Tuesdays?

Things have calmed down a little but I think the last three days has been full of mostly bad news. I am going to list them in hopes of being done with it all!

• Came home and my carpet is full of mud. If you are going to try to help, do it in a way that doesn't cost me time and money.


• Someone made a bitch comment about me at dinner- rad


• Charlie is no longer going to the Secondhand Hounds Silent Auction with me... solo


• Memorial Weekend plans are no more, will likely have to spend the holiday alone since everyone I know is going to be out of town.


• The dogs are overwhelming me. Saturday they freaked out at the Walk for Animals and Titan ran over a pre-teen who was sitting on the sidewalk. The whole deal was totally humiliating and disheartening. I wish that I could make my dogs behave perfectly but some days they have minds of their own!


• Bills are getting out of control lately. This year has been very expensive and lots of this stuff is coming due in the next month- two lasik loans, Charlie's wisdom teeth bill, endless Costco bill.


• Too many parties- fun but it's getting expensive


• I could also kick myself for not getting full rent for the month of May... idiot me.


• A puppy that was adopted from SHH was stolen out of his home the other day!! Who would do that??


• Charlie's new work schedule changed and therefore my plans have changed.


• Titan ripped apart my Calvin Klein duvet cover that I LOVED from inside his kennel.


• Interesting work news, not really that positive

Overall I would just like a little sunshine to come into my week! Is that so much to ask? I am not letting this all totally overwhelm me, but it brings me down when everything feels like its turned upside down.

One bit of good news, there may be someone interested in adopting Titan. He is a great dog, I just need to work on the introduction. He can't be away from Millie and Millie is out of control... hmm time to get creative!

Hair!

I spend so much time and money on my hair... ahhh! It's crazy.
Well I think I have decided that I am going to try to grow out my hair for another month before coloring it. Even though I am due for it now!
I am going to have some serious Madonna roots and people will have to deal with it.
The worst is going to work or client appointments though, I really want to just say, "Hi, I'm Afton and yes I know my hair looks like crap."

I hate when you get your hopes up...

It’s been happening lately. I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing. I think in my case it is a sign that I am trying to be positive, looking on the bright side. And that is something I need to keep improving at.
But today I was disappointed. I thought that I would get a call or email with some good news. It hasn’t come so far. I put all of my eggs in one basket, set all of my hopes on one thing. And when it doesn’t come I can’t help but feel crushed. Then I am unsure of what my good qualities are and if they are seen by the rest of the world at all.

Things I want to change in my life:
Meaningful work
Be more positive
Don’t let the negative things in my life consume so much of my thoughts

Sioux Falls

So here I am in Sioux Falls, SD for work! I actually asked about 3 times to be allowed to go and help train. So far it's been fine but a little slow.
I had to get up at 5:45am (I am so not a morning person), drive through a white out of blowing snow, and then arrive here at 11:30am and get to work!
I have one plan done and 2 others started!
I was told that I am running the software in a 6pm meeting tonight- good to know.
I guess I will have to wait a little longer for my night out in Sioux Falls!

Good news is that at 6am I heard a bird chirping and that means Spring can't be too far away!

I would definitely come back to Sioux Falls, it is nice to get a change of scenery and to be asked to go! Go me!

Ps. How is almost March already... time is flying!

Things I want...

The following are the things I really want...

I have noticed that the list just keeps growing. I haven't really acted on many of these 'wants' but I can't wait until I can! I think I have come to the sad realization that there are no more wedding showers with gifts, weddings with gifts, or Christmas for a while and even my birthday has passed already! I am on my own here :)

• Chest freezer so I can become more and more like a grandma, or store things I buy from Costco.
• A Wii Fit, can't justify since I have a gym membership I pay for already
• New couch! But I actually think the one we have is comfortable.
• New curtains, almost made some but then I remembered I am lazy
• New TV for upstairs, but we don't use the one up there that much now
• VACATION!! I have spring fever! I want to go to Mexico, Ireland, Italy again, France to visit my realtives, Greek Isles, Las Vegas!... time is ticking!!
• New dog?? this one is a little scary
• New house... not going to happen since I probably couldn't sell my current house
• I think it would be awesome to own land or a cabin somewhere in the middle of nowhere. That actually could happen in the next year or two. Maybe the Wii Fit will come before that.
• Redo my kitchen! I have ideas, let's make it happen!

Lots of things I want, but luckily I don't need too much right now :)

Worst Day Ever???

Today is up there as one of the worst days ever, and actually it's been a weird few weeks come to think of it...

It started with a weird dream where my (former) favorite actress Zooey Deschanel was super mean to me. Not cool, jerk.

I then started having all kinds of annoying problems at work. Basically I do all of this work but then get stuck in the middle when there are issues. And who is the easiest to blame and make them fix problems??? Oh it's me!

It's been a weird couple weeks at our house. My dog was left outside for long periods of time when I wasn't even home, not sure how that happened- ideas??? Ghosts perhaps?
Then there was a fire incident that I won't even go into.

I want to spend lots of money that I don't have. Everyday I want to do that.

Today I found out my credit card numbers were stolen. Awesome. Not too much harm done which is good. But no I feel paranoid. I also am not happy that they have my address also. They are apparently the worst criminals ever because they ordered an Entertainment coupon book and had it shipped to my house. The charges have been reversed, but guess who has all of the coupons... me, bitches.

I have a person in my life that is dead set on convincing me how I should feel at all times. I really feel like they don't know me that well. I have pretty much figured out how I want to be and think at this point in my life. They just don't quite though. Constantly questions how I can feel/act/think a certain way. OMG let it go, crazy. I am not you.

Overall I hate that I spend more time with people who I dislike than I do with people I like. I hate that I think about annoying things more than the good things. That is the sign of a bad week.

Also, old people cannot multi-task. Those older generations must have been focused on one thing at a time for their whole lives. Sorry old people.

How cute!

I seriously love this stuff! So cute!

I think ordering all of these handcrafted goodies make the best gifts. I love checking out Etsy too. So many talented people out there!

http://www.thevintagepearl.com/

I am planning on getting this one for our one year anniversary... if I can wait that long :)

You can even add another charm if you need to later (baby!).

Songs trick me!

You know all those songs where the guy talk about how he likes it when his lady is natural, no make-up, just woke up... blah blah blah.... I seriously don't think that is true because every time I don't wear make up people just ask me if I am sick.

Things that are annoying me lately...

I hate to be Debbie Downer, but I can't help it today! Things are getting on my nerves. Maybe it will be better once it's out in the open :)

• Driving to work in the morning when the weather is bad. It takes about an hour or more lately! It's only 14 miles... wtf!
• The ol' bait and switch- tell me we are going out and then decide to make us stay in!
• Having plans be forgotten
• Having to workout alone everytime... This is going to force me to get a Wii fit.
• Not having 'quality' time. It doesn't matter if we hang out if it just sucks the whole time.
• Staying awake at night being annoyed and but feeling too lazy to get up and go downstairs.
• Watching 3 movies in one day!! 'Nick & Nora's', 'Catch me if you Can', and 'Sunshine Cleaning.' All very good but I wish I was doing something more productive!
• Having people not listen or pressure me into their way of thinking- if I saw we didn't like something, we didn't like it! No way around it, not changing my mind!!
• When you order food and you don't like it... you still have to pay for it!
• There is one person who insists on trying to make me something other than what I am. Just see me already.... good lord it's getting crazy!

This is a good start... I am just trying to not let it get to me. Some of these problems are bigger than others. I will just focus on those.

Adventures in Fostering!

Our first foster dog, Pepper, has just been adopted! They are picking him up on Saturday. Very exciting for him! I thought it wasn't going to happen after Pepper humped the man that came to see him!! Omg... Keep it cool Pep.

He is a great dog but I think we have decided that two dogs is too many for our house. I know I will do it again but I think I need a month off. The worst part is that we only had Pepper for a week! Sometimes you may have a foster dog for 3 months!! I would be pickier about who we fostered next time. I may even just want a tiny puppy if we did it again but then they might pee all over and chew everything :)

Millie loved Pepper at first but then for the last few days she just seems too worn out to even do anything! This whole thing made me realize how well behaved and well trained she really is. She is a great dog!

So farewell Pepito! Best of luck to you and your new family. Stop jumping on people!!

Things I've Been Praying about Lately...

• Being thankful for my great husband
• For my sister to do well in school and in life
• Charlie to get a get new job soon
• Understanding my friends better and them understanding me better
• Career path... give me direction
• Better relationships with certain people who totally don't seem to get me
• Improved hearing for my mom
• The ability to be more easy going and not letting things effect me so much!

"Who Says"

"Who says I can’t be free?
From all of the things that I used to be
Re-write my history
Who says I can’t be free?"

Thoughts for Today!

Where are they Now?!?
Remember when Gretchen Wilson said "I'm Here for the Party!"? Well, that was a short party, where the heck is she now? Didn't you think she would have had a longer career?
What about Lauren Hill? I know there has been talk about this in the past but I am just wondering again now. She was amazingly talented!

On a different note, have you noticed that making something an acronym or giving it a nickname makes it cooler? One example that just did work is "SSL" or Sesame Street Live. Still not cool....

We have a new dog coming to live with us soon! (We are now dog foster parents). I am nervous but very excited to meet this new guy. I hope he gets along well with Millie. But I seriously had forgotten about potty training, crate training, chewing.... Hopefully Millie will be a good example and things will be great!

Life Lessons

Life's most decadent pleasures are even better when you use a coupon!

It's 2010

It's 2010 and now I have a blog.
I always have lots of thoughts and ideas and I might as well put them down somewhere!

So far these are my thoughts in 2010:
- I wish my birthday was further away from NYE (Jan 3rd)
- I am tired of being the party planner but I am worried if I don't plan then I won't do anything!
- I am waiting for Lady Antebellum to call and invite me to join since my voice blends seamlessly with their harmonies.
- I want to be a foster parent to a dog! I am working on that one.

Things I learned from 2009:
- It is ok to relax.
- I pretty much have to work out or I am meaner than normal, doesn't mean I like it.
- A think a change would do me good!
- I love my husband more everyday.
- After planning a wedding I have decided they are overrated.
- Families are hard to deal with at times and I should stop trying to understand why they do/say what they do!